It be well knoown that alkehaul is good fer ya. Tha good Lard wanted us ta have it he did! Tha Lard blessed us with bounteeful grains, bootiful hops and tha magic a yeest he did. An deserts full a sand ta make inta glass fer booze bottles.

Jesus hisself war always a tippin tha wine bottle he war. Him an his 12 mates was always a swillin it down an laffin an makin up tall tales they war. Me an Jesus cud have been grate pals eye’m thinkin. For he war inta wine an prosteetoots. Such fun we cud of had. Boot eye’d have show’d him tha recipe fer weeskee sews he wouldn’t waist his time tarnin water inta wine. Aye, it done makes me weep ta think of all the free weeskee eye cudda had.

Sew tha lesson fer todee be that tha Lard wants us drunk an happy. Remember it well laddies!